WHAT DOES THE PERSON WITH DEMENTIA NEED?

The person with dementia needs to feel safe, but not in a way that they feel restricted. The person with dementia has a need to understand. The person with dementia has a need to be understood. The person with dementia has a need to be healthy and physically fit. The person with dementia has a need to be spoken to like an adult.

The need to feel safe, means feeling comfortable and accepted. Many times when a person with dementia moves into a nursing home, they will talk about “going home.” Home is where you are comfortable, accepted and you will not be forced into doing something. In the nursing home setting it takes about a month for many to no longer ask to go home. It is not that they are now resigned to being in the nursing home. It is that they finally feel that acceptance and feel at home.

The need to understand, and be understood. Persons with dementia have lost their normal forms of communication. They no longer can communicate verbally or non-verbally their needs. Even the person who still has words has trouble expressing their thoughts and feelings. Misinterpretation of their environment causes more misunderstanding and results in fear.

The person with dementia has a need for nutritious food and exercise.  Nutritious meals, no junk food, supplement with B vitamins for stress and brain health, fresh air and exercise results in better sleep. (B vitamins should only be taken in the morning so they do not disrupt sleep)

The person with dementia needs to be included in conversations. They need to be addressed by their preferred name or title.

The person with dementia struggles all day long to understand their world and make their needs known.

Virginia Garberding RN

Certified in Gerontology and Restorative Nursing

HOW TO TALK TO SOMEONE WITH DEMENTIA

When a person with dementia has a difficult time understanding or following a long conversation. Breaking the conversation into small segments, with a repeat of important information will be more effective than a long talk. Help the person with dementia stay focused by making great eye contact, holding the person’s hand, any additional focused connection. Be very attuned to facial expressions. When one word doesn’t seem to be understood, use a simpler word. Adding gestures can not only demonstrate words, but can also bring more focus to the speaker.

A person with dementia may lose their train of thought during a conversation.¬†Helping the person with dementia with a word, or forgotten idea depends on the relationship. If the confused person feels that they are being controlled, this form of “help” may be viewed as an intrusion. If it can be done in a lighthearted way, it can guide the person back to their train of thought.

A person with dementia can be very distracted in a noisy environment. One of the first things Sara noticed about her husband was that he seemed rattled when out in a restaurant. She started requesting a table far from the kitchen, where the slightest clang of utensils, would make her husband turn to the sound. He frequently complained about the noise, even though it seemed very normal to everyone else. As time went on it became apparent that in order to even conduct the simplest of table conversation, they would need to go dining at off hours, when the restaurants were almost empty.

A person with dementia may begin to avoid crowded events, or become anxious in crowds. Not only dining out can become a problem, but going to a theater, sporting event, church service, or any event where there are large amounts of people, can be an opportunity for the confused person to become anxious. Very good pre-planning for any event becomes so important. If the caregiver doesn’t plan well, and is running late to an event, the confused person will take on the anxiety as well.

Virginia Garberding RN

Certified in Gerontology and Restorative Nursing